My Boss Made Me Write this Post About California's "Right to Disconnect" Bill at 2AM

My first and last column

Image and “Evelyn Tsai” avatar both from Filmstax via Getty.

This week, California State Assemblyman Matt Haney proposed a bill that would give salaried employees the right to ignore work communications after designated work hours. And around 10 PM last night, I received this text from I Might Be Wrong Grand President Jeff Maurer:

Having just been hired as I Might Be Wrong’s Junior Content Wench, I didn’t want to say “no”. Breaking into journalism is hard, and you need to get bylines to build a resume. I need this job, and I didn’t want to upset my boss right out of the gate. I waited ten minutes and then wrote back: “Sure!”

One minute later, Jeff wrote:

I honestly hadn’t formed an opinion of the bill yet. One the one hand, a law dictating the details of a company’s work culture seems like overreach. On the other hand, expanding the work day could be considered a contract violation. But before I could collect my thoughts, Jeff wrote:

And then:

Then:

I didn’t want to be the fly in the ointment, so I agreed that the bill was unrealistic. And Jeff wrote back:

I should mention: I was having this exchange from my sister’s birthday party. She just turned 30, and her husband organized a drinks thing downtown. Plus, it was kind of an all-purpose celebration because she beat cancer last year. I had had two glasses of wine and a Manhattan before this text exchange, and “Despacito” was blasting over the sound system. It honestly didn’t seem possible for me to speed-write an article while tipsy, so I wrote back: “tomorrow AM might be tight.” And I was quite relieved when Jeff wrote back:

But five minutes later Jeff wrote back:

In the minute or so I spent composing my response, these texts arrived:

I told him I’d get him a draft.

I got a coke from the bartender (I needed caffeine!) and looked for a place to write. It was noisy inside and raining outside, so I stood under the tiny awning by the bar’s entrance and tried to stay dry. I speed-read a few articles and started writing a piece about how the law wasn’t compatible with the realities of the modern workforce. I also got “how’s it going?” and “just checking in” texts from Jeff about every five minutes. And just before midnight, I got this:

By “tweak the premise a bit”, Jeff meant “write the opposite of the piece he assigned me to write.” I’d have to start from scratch! But, again: I need this job. So, I wrote back “sure!”.

A bit after midnight, I got this text:

I wasn’t sure what that meant. When I asked for clarification, Jeff wrote:

A half hour later — as I was proofreading my draft — I got this

I asked if Jeff meant to sent that to his friend, and he replied:

But the real bad news came a minute later

It was past 1 AM. My sister’s party had ended, the bar had closed, and I was writing in an Uber. But as much as I wanted to go home and sleep, I didn’t want to tell my boss “no”. So, I said I’d write the piece.

And this — what you’re reading right now — is that piece. It will go live at 6AM, at which point Jeff will be sleeping off a hangover and my resignation will be in his inbox, sent via “schedule send”, which Jeff doesn’t seem to know is a thing. Because fuck this job — I don’t need it that badly. And my last act as an I Might Be Wrong employee will be to use this blog to say: Bosses who abuse their employees’ desire to “get to yes” are dicks. Sure, the modern world moves fast. And companies in time-sensitive fields with employees spread out across multiple time zones might struggle to contain work within “regular” hours. For that reason, the bill is probably a bad idea. But bosses who take advantage of their employees’ good will are assholes, and they deserve to have their talent flee to non-asshole pastures. Emergencies are one thing; abuse is another. And if you abuse an employee enough, they will use your lame little Daily Show knock-off blog to say: Fuck you, you shit-licking douchebag. I hope your Drudge Report For Liberal Morons newsletter fails harder than your first marriage.

Evelyn out.

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