11 Comments
Mar 29, 2022Liked by Jeff Maurer

This is the best thing you have written that I have read-I have extended family in Ukraine and I still laughed!

Expand full comment

You spelled “linchpin” correctly. You had my vote right there. Let’s Go, Vlad!!

Expand full comment

It's been a while since I've thrown one of my enemies into a vat of battery acid but I thought sulfuric acid was battery acid. I bet someone tried to tell Putin this and discovered the answer personally.

Expand full comment
author

It depends on what your goals are. If you want them to die slowly, go battery acid. For no fuss, no muss, easy cleanup, sulfuric is the way to go.

Truth be told, I chose battery acid as a nod to Scharpling and Wurster's classic "Hippie Johnny" bit: https://youtu.be/8wwDRjlXYzI

Expand full comment
Mar 28, 2022Liked by Jeff Maurer

"You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she scrubs a caldron". I almost fell in the floor laughing at that part. I've never heard of Hippie Johnny. That is so good. That's probably the third thing you've linked to on this substack that I've never heard of that cracked me up. Also, farm fresh battery acid is definitely the way to go.

Expand full comment

Borscht is the ultimate superfood! I hear the Red Cross are making vats of it in Poland to feed the hundreds of thousands of Ukrainian refugees I sent there!

Expand full comment

My friend, you've been busy! My breakfast nook wall is spattered because I was having coffee while reading. Tou-frickin-ché!

Expand full comment

Awesome..............

Expand full comment

Shouldn't this post on Friday?

Expand full comment
author

I'm still deciding what the rules are about what gets posted when; for today, I thought I'd do a guest column two-pack.

Expand full comment

Yeah I was thinking April 1 but that's a holiday for amateur comics. You do you!

Expand full comment