38 Comments

To be clear, Windex is committed to transparency.

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I’m dead now

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The fact that the Windex team cannot bring itself to even mention the name Glass Plus, smells of cowardice and ammonia.

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Yeah. That’s the thing about land acknowledgments. There’s always, at the end, a few cavemen who some “indigenous” peoples had to smash on the head with rocks to become indigenous in the first place.

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Homo Erectus was in what is now Israel 1 million years ago. To truly give the land to the indigenous people, we need to clone our old ancestors back to life, and let them rule over all of Jerusalem. I believe this is a plan everyone can get behind because it’s exactly ridiculous enough to work.

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It’s the only equitable thing to do.

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I say Palestine belongs to the Roman Empire. So does every other land this side of the Rhine-Danube border, for all eternity.

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I second that!

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Yeah, we should be paying reparations to the first neolithic men to be chased away from a watering hole.

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Or. I mean. Wait until progressives hear some of the theories on what happened to the Neanderthals. You wanna talk about colonialism?

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I know it's satire, but this makes me like Windex even more...

The Glass Cleaner That Fucks. It is my pleasure to give you seven bucks a month, your water-carrying for Gavin Newsom notwithstanding.

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Drop of dish soap, water, and a bit of white vinegar

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God the world needs more of this!

“Pol Pot was framed” Jezuz... 😆

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You started with me chuckling but then I’ll admit, the idea of Windex saying “Pol Pot was framed” had me burst out laughing.

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It was my break point too

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The difference between all of these other events and Gaza is that supporting Israel means upsetting the Cultural Left, who are the third rail of culture and politics for some inexplicable reason.

Supporting George Floyd, or sending anti vaxxers to the gulag, or abortion is safe because you are on the side of the Cultural Left.

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I'm more than good with sending anti-vaxxers to the gulag. It's f'ing medicine, not politics, and narcissism is not a virtue. And I'm miles from the cultural left. Be well -

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Sure you don't wanna just burn them at the stake?

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Yep, I'm sure. But if you don't want to respect society, generally there are consequences that society imposes. I don't want to take any shit from anyone, so I punch anyone I perceive offends me, and there are consequences other than burning at the stake. If you want to deliberately refuse a simple, free, harmless, and effective vaccine for "reasons" that don't hold up to any scrutiny, and therefore make everyone else's life shorter on average and worse, any civilized society would have consequences for that. Scorn is below the minimum appropriate. Those people are frankly bad people, and the worst of narcissists. Should most/many of us have refused the polio vaccine, which factually did carry a small degree of danger? Or smallpox? Kids today are getting things there are zero reasons for them to get and some people out of some opposition syndrome excuse that. Be well -

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yikes

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Apropos of this: a couple of years ago, I bought "Holiday in Cambodia" while on holiday in Cambodia. Through the iTunes store.

Not sure if that was irony, or irreverent, or just pretty much a big nothing, but I felt it was something I had to do.

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I just used this piece in my Political Media class as an example of irony, and completely lost my shit when we got to the list of other Windex positions. My upper-level college students stared with their mouths hanging open as I croaked out "Pol Pot was framed. Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in the Vagina Monologues" with tears of slightly-hysterical laugher pouring down my face. Don't get me wrong - the students liked it too. But by the time we got to "Denmark has run its course," I couldn't speak coherently. I cannot thank you enough.

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Who knew Windex has such depth? And how did you know my panties have frills????

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Made my day

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Gives new meaning to the term “put some Windex on it”

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Love this.

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"Fucking Oreos. Always leaving them smears & smudges down around my bunghole." - LBJ

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Thank you, thank you, thank you for the laughter!

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Best believe I'm sharing this with everyone! Brilliant!

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