God. I don’t understand how anyone can watch a presidential debate (any party) and think “yeah. This is the person I want in charge of *spins wheel* tick tick tick. Healthcare!”
I know that "GOP primary voters are simply dialed into a different frequency than I am," but I really really want to understand: How could you watch any of them besides Haley (at least when she wasn't trying to be "down with the Trumpies") and think that they could even run an HOA, much less the country?
I know more than one very highly educated Indian-American who thinks Ramaswamy's "really smart," and my most charitable explanation is that it's just a real breakthrough to see *any* representation on the stage, even if its the least fuckable guy at your college. But then isn't it a bit of an insult to have that position be held by him, when infinitely more capable Indian-Americans are leading some of the top companies in the country?
And then we have half a dozen other people who are (allegedly) the best that half of the country who skews Conservative could offer? And THESE are they? They who are all somehow still a million miles behind a disgraced and unpopular ex-president who lost an election; tried (and thankfully failed) to overturn democracy; and currently is too busy facing overlapping federal, criminal, and civil charges to even show up?
You really have outdone yourself with this piece! However you missed one recommendation for Mike Pence's death penalty to mass shooters proposal, which is that the government would take over the role of retaliation in gang-related murders, saving countless lives.
Beautiful, as always. I am especially grateful for the visual image of feral hogs playing mini golf. Touché!
God. I don’t understand how anyone can watch a presidential debate (any party) and think “yeah. This is the person I want in charge of *spins wheel* tick tick tick. Healthcare!”
It’s a race to the bottom.
“Scott will once again be dogged by rumors of a possible beard” bravo.
This was the funniest piece I've read in months. That debate really did inspire you!
I know that "GOP primary voters are simply dialed into a different frequency than I am," but I really really want to understand: How could you watch any of them besides Haley (at least when she wasn't trying to be "down with the Trumpies") and think that they could even run an HOA, much less the country?
I know more than one very highly educated Indian-American who thinks Ramaswamy's "really smart," and my most charitable explanation is that it's just a real breakthrough to see *any* representation on the stage, even if its the least fuckable guy at your college. But then isn't it a bit of an insult to have that position be held by him, when infinitely more capable Indian-Americans are leading some of the top companies in the country?
And then we have half a dozen other people who are (allegedly) the best that half of the country who skews Conservative could offer? And THESE are they? They who are all somehow still a million miles behind a disgraced and unpopular ex-president who lost an election; tried (and thankfully failed) to overturn democracy; and currently is too busy facing overlapping federal, criminal, and civil charges to even show up?
WHAT IS HAPPENING!?
Jeff, this confirms why I haven’t watched a presidential debate in decades. I'd rather make love to a porcupine.
You are the reason I don’t need to watch CNN for this kind of analysis! Thanks!
Keep it up Jeff. We need people to make us laugh about this never ending train wreck.
You really have outdone yourself with this piece! However you missed one recommendation for Mike Pence's death penalty to mass shooters proposal, which is that the government would take over the role of retaliation in gang-related murders, saving countless lives.