25 Comments

If Trump wins (which I really really really don’t want) I think the one silver lining is that democrats will resent counting him as president twice, and maybe we’ll start to re-think the ridiculousness of counting Cleveland twice. I’ve seen lots of people say that Biden is the 46th person to become president, which is just a blatant falsehood. Other countries look at America and see a nation that can’t even count. The time has come for us to reckon with our true history, and to settle on a presidential numbering system that reflects reality. One option is to count our presidents by the number of individuals who have held the office, in which case Cleveland will count only as the 22nd second president. Or we can count our presidents by the number of times they took the oath of office as president, in which case Washington would be presidents 1 & 2 Adams would 3, Jefferson 4 & 5, Madison 6 & 7, etc. Obviously method one makes more sense but method two would allow us to keep counting Cleveland twice, and would be a great way to mess with all those kids trying to memorize the presidents.

Expand full comment

I'd be an enthusiastic "yes" on a "Cleveland only counts once" ballot measure.

Expand full comment

Absolutely. I guess they faced a conundrum. Can we call him the 24th? And "they" just did it. Reprobates. But I would just say that the 22nd President was elected again after the 23rd President beat him in the previous election. He's still 22! And then after him, if it's a new person, is 24. No problem, we're back on track

Expand full comment

Exactly! Why are we rewarding the presidents who can’t even get themselves reelected on the first try?

Expand full comment

Give me the opportunity to live in a universe where Trump is only remembered for non-consecutive terms and I will collapse at your feet dribbling tears and snot on your shoes and emitting a slurred stream of wails in which the only comprehensible words are "YES" and "SAVIOR".

Expand full comment

Grover fucked up the numbering system for Presidents and blew my mind because he was both the 22nd and 24th President.

Expand full comment

There's a groundswell of support behind this movement.

Expand full comment

The premise of this article is ridiculous. Cleveland is *also* famous for the bastard offspring who inspired one of the first modern political burns, “Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa?”

Expand full comment

Yeah but that’s the bias that comes with letting Cleveland write the article himself.

Expand full comment

"Gone to the White House, Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Expand full comment

God bless you, Jeff.

Expand full comment

Jimmy Kimmel calls Trump “Groper Cleveland” which even Grover would find funny.

Expand full comment

On my way to the polls to write in Cleveland’s name on the ballot

Expand full comment

Sir, how could you not mention that you are the only President born in New Jersey . . . so far.

Expand full comment

This is fake, Grover Cleveland is under an exclusive contract with Teen Vogue so he would never write anything for IMBW

Expand full comment

Sorry, but in this crazy world, Trump could throw on a dress and lipstick and claim he was the first female president, he just hadn't been "affirmed" yet.

Expand full comment

The hard hitting article we needed on a night like this. 👋

Expand full comment

Cleveland is also the only president to have a Baseball Hall of Famer named for him! Unfortunately, he didn't live long enough to see his namesake play, which I guess is why it didn't come up in this column.

Expand full comment

Great stuff. We all need some levity today. :) While I'm glad that you no longer have to create a new email address for every one of your guest writers, I am now wondering if Grover.Cleveland@gmail.com has been taken.

Expand full comment

A lighter note ( except for Grover ). Thanks “I might be wrong “ writer.

Expand full comment

A Harris endorsement from an obscure, long-dead President with a chip on his shoulder was not on my bingo card for today! Jeff, you continue to surprise and delight 😊

Expand full comment

Millard Fucking Filmore 😂

Expand full comment