Well, it certainly appears that someone DID choke as is clearly illuminated by the brilliant musings of the "I Might Be Wrong" Junior Film Critic, if we discount his extended familia psycho-trauma of the Frank Gifford Electric Football game.
ah, yes. the bitter rantings of the less-favored *adopted* "twin", the useless appendage finally forced off the coattails of his more successful "twin" (whom Mother ACTIALLY pushed out her birth canal, by the way, who WAS loved, who did NOT sleep in a dog cage in the garage, who was NOT given the same second-hand Lite-Brite for three consecutive Christmas’s) ... but he who by means of a sad attempt at barely recognizable humor wishes to lash out at his handsome, loved, talented "twin" - NOT chosen from a budget orphanage catalog - in the pathetic hope of seeming relevant.
get a life, get a solo hit movie, and get on without me, already !
Hot take. Love it. Beautifully written critique of a critique. Would love what to see what you have to say about this "useless appendage" scary-gary.com
Wait- so ur shitting on adopted people? And the fact that u think the other is “more handsome” is maniacal.
To be clear, you’re pissed & making derogatory remarks about the fact an adopted sibling isn’t worth as much, bc he wrote this review? I also think ur the type that would want to shake his hand & tell ur buds u met him if u saw him. The diff is, u don’t know them so aren’t you just as low if not lower?
This may be the funniest shit I’ve ever read. I had to recompose myself after reading it, like you do when you’re stoned and have to walk back into your parents’ house knowing they’ll be sitting on the couch waiting for your ass to get home. That funny.
Credit must be given to the junior staffer who managed to decipher the handwritten notes that formed the basis of this review. It must have been extremely difficult to make sense of the parts where the pen had been pressed down with so much force that it went through the paper forming a scarred mass of pulp and ink (the Lite-Brite paragraph). And cracking the code that all the drawings of penises actually translated to "Mr. Coen" is some next level Alan Turing shit.
Ethan, you are so wrong! I am halfway through the movie, and so far it has: a) helped my hearing. The whispering of the actors has caused me to constantly rewind to hear again what was said, and as a result, I have purchased one of the great hearing aids of all time, just for this film. b) Done wonders for my eyes. The lighting is so dim that I can hardly see what's going on, so I have purchased these special glasses that my friends tell me are coke bottle bottoms. But they work! c) Used amazing costumes. They brilliantly favor the dim lighting, making the characters almost disappear into the stark background. How clever! d) Eliminated sets, so the actors appear to be working in outer space. This emphasizes their versatility as they push me into imagining where the hell they are. I'm loving this film! Just please remind me who wrote it and what it's about.
Family feud aside, the movie is awesome... but had I known about the lite brite I would have boycotted it. My sister once took a hammer to my watch out of curiosity, so I know his pain.
Pure genius. I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to choke.
Well, it certainly appears that someone DID choke as is clearly illuminated by the brilliant musings of the "I Might Be Wrong" Junior Film Critic, if we discount his extended familia psycho-trauma of the Frank Gifford Electric Football game.
Who is the child in this scenario?
ah, yes. the bitter rantings of the less-favored *adopted* "twin", the useless appendage finally forced off the coattails of his more successful "twin" (whom Mother ACTIALLY pushed out her birth canal, by the way, who WAS loved, who did NOT sleep in a dog cage in the garage, who was NOT given the same second-hand Lite-Brite for three consecutive Christmas’s) ... but he who by means of a sad attempt at barely recognizable humor wishes to lash out at his handsome, loved, talented "twin" - NOT chosen from a budget orphanage catalog - in the pathetic hope of seeming relevant.
get a life, get a solo hit movie, and get on without me, already !
-marc (and most certainly not Joel)
You guys really make me want to call my brother right now and tell him how very much I love him
Hot take. Love it. Beautifully written critique of a critique. Would love what to see what you have to say about this "useless appendage" scary-gary.com
Wait- so ur shitting on adopted people? And the fact that u think the other is “more handsome” is maniacal.
To be clear, you’re pissed & making derogatory remarks about the fact an adopted sibling isn’t worth as much, bc he wrote this review? I also think ur the type that would want to shake his hand & tell ur buds u met him if u saw him. The diff is, u don’t know them so aren’t you just as low if not lower?
You aren't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, are you Jesse?
whoooooooooosh
This may be the funniest shit I’ve ever read. I had to recompose myself after reading it, like you do when you’re stoned and have to walk back into your parents’ house knowing they’ll be sitting on the couch waiting for your ass to get home. That funny.
I thought he was a little tough on Frances.
This brought me much joy.
Best.
Marketing.
Ever!
Now I HAVE to see it!
Exactly. It’s on my watchlist.
Oh my God, that is the funniest thing I have ever read. I have tears streaming down my face.
Love your username.
Credit must be given to the junior staffer who managed to decipher the handwritten notes that formed the basis of this review. It must have been extremely difficult to make sense of the parts where the pen had been pressed down with so much force that it went through the paper forming a scarred mass of pulp and ink (the Lite-Brite paragraph). And cracking the code that all the drawings of penises actually translated to "Mr. Coen" is some next level Alan Turing shit.
THIS is the funniest comment, by far. L.O.L. Love it.
Ethan, you are so wrong! I am halfway through the movie, and so far it has: a) helped my hearing. The whispering of the actors has caused me to constantly rewind to hear again what was said, and as a result, I have purchased one of the great hearing aids of all time, just for this film. b) Done wonders for my eyes. The lighting is so dim that I can hardly see what's going on, so I have purchased these special glasses that my friends tell me are coke bottle bottoms. But they work! c) Used amazing costumes. They brilliantly favor the dim lighting, making the characters almost disappear into the stark background. How clever! d) Eliminated sets, so the actors appear to be working in outer space. This emphasizes their versatility as they push me into imagining where the hell they are. I'm loving this film! Just please remind me who wrote it and what it's about.
My brother made me lick a dead rat after he said he already did it himself. He never licked that fucking rat to this day!
Plus, how come nobody had a Scottish accent?
Shakespeare is dying from laughing, No question Best film review , Can you please review woody Allen next fil
Family feud aside, the movie is awesome... but had I known about the lite brite I would have boycotted it. My sister once took a hammer to my watch out of curiosity, so I know his pain.
I think Mr. Coen should also cover sports, including recaps of USMT march to the World Cup.
I might give that beat to non-Russian-spam-bot Paula Fox.
(And for old time's sake:
Turner: 6
Robinson: 9
Richards: 5
Zimmerman: 5.5
Dest: 7
Adams: 7.5
McKennie: 6.5
Musah: 5
Pulisic: 5
Weah: 7.5
Ferreira: 4
Zardes: 5
Aaronson: 4.5
Morris: 5
Acosta: NR
Berhalter: 4)
JUSTICE FOR MANDY!!! 😡😡😡
I just laughed so hard I peed a little. This piece insisted on you both making a movie about a movie critic. Pleeesse!!!!!