38 Comments

My local news recently featured a hard hitting piece on edible tape that holds burritos closed.

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This is the brave new world we were promised.

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Local News is the best thing on tv.

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Johns Hopkins. Home of Yascha Mounk and burrito tape research. What more could one want out of an institution of higher learning?

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Celeb/Public trials just feel like a version of Marc Andreesen's "Current Thing". When a new Current Thing drops, everyone has to have an opinion. Most NPC's just download what they need to know or say (Is there a team Depp emoji? Gotta get that Ukraine flag next to my raised fist/rose in my bio!) from whatever source they trust most.

You will probably hear from many current lawyers and some former lawyers (like myself) that will also tell you that trials are incredibly rare and that the ones we know about and are privy to are Unicorn outliers that aren't anything like normal trials. Trials and law are also fact-specific. The beauty of the common law system is that precedent rules, but what makes it infinitely malleable is that no two cases have the exact same facts. Lawyers can and do argue about why the facts in any particular case are similar/dissimilar to prior cases.

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How old are you?

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Old.

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Then you’re too old to say “NPC.”

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Thanks! I had no idea the term was only used by youngsters. I appreciate your gatekeeping. Keep up he good work and point out any other problematic terms.

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Lol it’s not problematic. It’s embarrassing.

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Since you are trying to help me, let me attempt to return the favor. Embarrassing and problematic are synonyms in this context. In both cases, you are trying to help me understand that using a term I think works pretty well to describe the shallow way many people interact with the issues of the day - is wrong. I get it. You don't like the term and you have a problem with people who use it. We are either too young or embarrassing. Either way, you are clear that my relative status should be lowered because I used it and you are commenting to let other NPCs (ooops, people!) know that I'm a fool for doing so. Unfortunately, I'm not embarrassed despite your helpful hint that I should be. And I'm old enough to dismiss most gatekeeping as one of the least helpful tools in fostering good dialogue. But you do you man.

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Your response reveals you as a very generous person

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I'm 57 but played games on PCs for about 15 years and occasionally still do on my iPad. Can I get a dispensation?

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You only can say it when you’re playing Fallout 2.

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Diablo?

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You must pay extra close attention to all things deemed important to make sure you stay on the correct side of the mob...

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As another recovering lawyer, I approve of this message.

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"maybe you feel that it’s generally understood that we’re not all walking around with, say, a working knowledge of North Carolina maritime law"

Maybe *you're* not, but any true Arrested Development fan certainly should be: https://youtu.be/TdeSh3vLvYI

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I am truly puzzled by how people are not only getting swept up in this but also fervently defending either side. How are you coming to the conclusion that either of them is completely innocent? I'm tired of thinking about people thinking about this trial and while I know very little, I don't even want to know as much as I do. That is as far as my opinion goes on this case.

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As with everything, tribalism and the coalition instinct. And I agree. It would be so nice not to know anything about this shitshow. Or is it a clusterfuck? 🤔

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I agree - all I know is it’s some kind of defamation case which is giving them both a chance to hurl shit at each other. Second, people are taking sides, as Jeff says, based on who they think they are. And all of that, such as it is, is more than I ever wanted to know

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Celebrity Trials have been a thing for almost as long this country has been around. In England in 1820 there was the trial of Queen Caroline whom the King was trying to divorce/strip of her titles that was more sensational than whatever the Depp/Heard trial is about. Heck, I imagine there were scalpers selling tickets to the Joan of Arc trial even though most people couldn't figure out what she was on trial for.

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Also the play/movie Chicago is about this, so, yeah, it's definitely not new.

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I suppose the real question is: do you think someone who reads your Substack doesn’t already think something along these lines?

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I dont think so because if we were we would have seen people like us on local news and that hasn’t happened yet…

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Man-on-the-street Interviews are the best thing about local news though!

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Good point. I’ll try to do better. Like using duct tape when a controversial topic comes up. On my mouth.

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