This is so funny. Once again, I am crying with laughter. I am that emoji now. The E.T. "part" was what did it. I have to be careful though because I shared your Macbeth one and people took it too seriously. They blinked back silently and one said "this is too mean." And I said, but that's the whole point. That's why it's funny. It's Ethan as the mad and bitter brother. But it might just be that humor has vanished. Not here though. It is alive and well.
I'm glad you liked it! And I wasn't sure about the E.T. bit -- my wife cast her vote for "too disturbing" and I was really on the fence -- but it sounds like I made the right call.
I give up. I’d vowed to reduce my Substack subscriptions this year to be more productive off screen. But just when I thought I was out, you and ET sucked me right back in.
You had my smile with the title, my belly laugh with the ET scene, and my heart with “except that I’m sure we can agree that what I’m doing is more noble and better.”
I just stopped laughing. My office-mate thought I was having a seizure. I'm not the type of person who laughs out loud. But that image of E.T. - that changed everything! I laugh out loud now! Thank you.
Glad that you gave "honourable mention" to "Say, Say, Say", but how could you ignore that other execrable ditty he did with the King of Pop, "The Girl is Mine"? Hearing that dreck would inevitably send my hand rocketing towards my radio dial so that I could switch stations before I heard any of the actual lyrics.
I know this is old as hell but I’m new (to this Substack; I am also old as hell). I’ve tried to broach this topic in polite society before and was convinced I was going to die unvalidated in this ̶o̶p̶i̶n̶i̶o̶n̶ objective musicological observation until I read this. So THANK YOU.
“Wonderful Christmastime” is not in the same league as "The Rebel Jesus," "Fairytale from New York," "Merry Christmas from the Family", or "River," but it is better than the awful, violent "Arthur McBride."
Yes! I loved this column so much I had to read it out loud to my husband in the middle of a coffee shop, laughing and crying though the whole thing. I finally found someone with same visceral hatred of this piece of garbage. Dearly hope spotify and every radio station reads this. Can't get my hands on the buttons fast enough whenever I hear that first note come on. You've outdone yourself! Love the Home Depot scenario especially. Thank you!
This is so funny. Once again, I am crying with laughter. I am that emoji now. The E.T. "part" was what did it. I have to be careful though because I shared your Macbeth one and people took it too seriously. They blinked back silently and one said "this is too mean." And I said, but that's the whole point. That's why it's funny. It's Ethan as the mad and bitter brother. But it might just be that humor has vanished. Not here though. It is alive and well.
I'm glad you liked it! And I wasn't sure about the E.T. bit -- my wife cast her vote for "too disturbing" and I was really on the fence -- but it sounds like I made the right call.
The Saint Patrick's Day line was great. A+ entry, Jeff.
You put. This song. Back into. My head.
I won't forgive you for this.
YOU WROTE THE OLD MAN PENIS SKETCH?!!? I sent that to so many people. Subsequently I was sent so many restraining orders.
I give up. I’d vowed to reduce my Substack subscriptions this year to be more productive off screen. But just when I thought I was out, you and ET sucked me right back in.
The best take was Yoko Ono threatens to upload more music to Spotify if Joe Rogan isn't removed.
You had my smile with the title, my belly laugh with the ET scene, and my heart with “except that I’m sure we can agree that what I’m doing is more noble and better.”
I just stopped laughing. My office-mate thought I was having a seizure. I'm not the type of person who laughs out loud. But that image of E.T. - that changed everything! I laugh out loud now! Thank you.
Glad that you gave "honourable mention" to "Say, Say, Say", but how could you ignore that other execrable ditty he did with the King of Pop, "The Girl is Mine"? Hearing that dreck would inevitably send my hand rocketing towards my radio dial so that I could switch stations before I heard any of the actual lyrics.
You're kind of spoiled for choice when it comes to shitty songs in the Jackson/McCartney oeuvre.
True!
Oh, I remember the wrinkled-dicks one!
And I always liked "Wonderful Christmastime" and that spare synthesizer arrangement. A bit like if "Temporary Secretary" had a holiday theme.
It's totally a shitty song, but I kind of enjoy it for it's shittiness
When I get that song stuck in my head, I've found this to be an effective antidote: http://shorturl.at/anyCR
I know this is old as hell but I’m new (to this Substack; I am also old as hell). I’ve tried to broach this topic in polite society before and was convinced I was going to die unvalidated in this ̶o̶p̶i̶n̶i̶o̶n̶ objective musicological observation until I read this. So THANK YOU.
“Wonderful Christmastime” is not in the same league as "The Rebel Jesus," "Fairytale from New York," "Merry Christmas from the Family", or "River," but it is better than the awful, violent "Arthur McBride."
Yes! I loved this column so much I had to read it out loud to my husband in the middle of a coffee shop, laughing and crying though the whole thing. I finally found someone with same visceral hatred of this piece of garbage. Dearly hope spotify and every radio station reads this. Can't get my hands on the buttons fast enough whenever I hear that first note come on. You've outdone yourself! Love the Home Depot scenario especially. Thank you!
I also feel the same way about Last Christmas by Wham!