14 Comments

I have no idea how this column ends. Once I saw the trailer for Tiptoes, I just couldn't continue. At first I thought this was the most elaborate prank ever pulled since the attempt to convince the world there are two Dakotas. But then I saw this was produced by Studio Canal, a French production company, and wondered if this was some sort of elaborate attempt by the House of Bourbon to crush America's will to live by forcing us to watch this dreck and thus retake the Louisiana territory sold to us by Napoleon.

I am so stunned by this that I almost forgot to re-up my request that "Mr. Coen" needs to provide commentary on World Cup soccer.

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Same thing happened to me. Caught so off guard by the reveal of Tiptoes that I didn’t finish the article until much later.

Apparently Tiptoes is real, as it’s on Amazon Prime. There was a “How Did This Get Made” episode on it but it’s been removed? Dinklage must have put pressure?

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I just spent an hour trying to determine if Tiptoes was actually a real movie, or, some carefully executed deep fake.... but for what purpose though? An attempt to end Gary Oldman's career? As part of some long-con prank by Matthew McConaughey?

The best I can come up with is it was an unused fake trailer for Tropic Thunder. The "Command Performances by" and "In the role of a lifetime" were the final giveaways.

Bonus - this interview with Oldman is beautiful https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4w6-XXXv90

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Props for the "Dorf on Golf" reference. One of my first jobs was in a suburban mall bookstore in 1989, and we had those damn Dorf videos playing constantly, because there were a lot of people who found them hilarious and were more than willing to shell out $29.95 for a steaming turd on VHS. Which according to an online inflation calculator, is like paying $68.53 today.

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If you enjoy a good Dorf on Golf reference, then this blog is the place for you, because I believe that is my third.

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I haven't seen the film either and I thought this was a hilarious way to start a Monday!

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Yep, you are right. I appreciate your clear headed response. Thanks

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If this is supposed to be funny, it’s not. What the ...????

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Lucy, I have not seen CODA, but I was laughing out loud multiple times (reading a Substack piece, what more can you want in a morning read). Even if you loved CODA, you have to laugh that someone else (potentially?) hated it this much, and laugh...at least at the Tiptoes trailer.

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Mar 28, 2022·edited Mar 28, 2022

I found it hilarious, and your appalled wokester reaction actually ADDS to the comedy for me, much like Joe Buck's horrified (and instantly hiarious) "What a DISGUSTING act!"call when Randy Moss fake-mooned Green Bay Packer fans in the 2004 NFC Wild Card game. Thanks for taking something that was already funny and making it even better. SO happy I once again skipped the Oscars (and CODA, lmao).

Randy Moss and Joe Buck doing their thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00Spb_STNU8 Enjoy.

Edit: Posted and realized I wanted to stipulate that "appalled wokester" applies to this comment only; I, of course have no idea what you're like in real life, but a subscription here grants you benefit of the doubt that you're probably not part of the offended-in-perpetuity woke left.

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You are correct. I am definitely not of the woke ilk. I don’t know. Just didn’t get the humor. Thanks for the grace.

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Your loss. Each to their own though. I wept like a baby (and thought CODA was OK)

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Your loss. Each to their own though. I wept like a baby (and thought CODA was OK)

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Your loss. Each to their own though. I wept like a baby (and thought CODA was OK)

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