I know this is satire, but the things that are seen as egregious violations by the generation entering the workforce are a great sign for progress - as a society we've slayed all the real dragons, so now we're just stomping the hell out of every salamander in sight. I feel like you can measure the increase in quality of life by the increasingly nonsensical things that are labeled as horrific injustices.
"All right! But apart from above-average pay, health, dental, and vision benefits, three weeks of paid vacation a year, eight months of paid maternity leave, holiday bonuses, flex-work, a five-star on-site cafeteria, gym, climbing wall, daycare center, dog run, walkable campus with ample greenspace, free drinks, free snacks, Friday waffle bar, and in-office juice concierge, what has MMP EVER done for us?!?"
I'm probably the target demographic for this. I work in a warehouse but we're on the same messaging system as corporate. Sometimes I hate-read the rooms devoted to complaining about having to work in the office three times a week or that each employee gets only one latte per day from the in-house barista. Their entitlement can be infuriating. There were a few weeks where I worked six night shifts in a row and I'd spend my lunch period drinking a Monster and reading some program manager complain that he had to either bring a sandwich from home or get ripped off at a fast food place.
But at the end of the day, they are actually entitled to luxurious treatment. If you have the soft skills to be a "junior customer liaison" at a medical consulting firm, you're able to sell them for $75k a year and all the office juice you can drink. Sure, I get annoyed when the "PMC" complain about losing catering, but those perks are ultimately part of the pay they agreed to exchange their valuable labor for. Taking those perks away is an unnegotiated pay cut and should be met with hostility.
My only valid complaint about these people is that defending against their various psuedomedical rationales requires companies to replace HR with some sort of byzantine labyrinth navigable only by them. I had to deal with the medical accommodation process after breaking my foot and it's a series of hoops that people jump through when they self-diagnose anxiety to work from home. Ironically these hoops are more jumpable for the "anxious" that are salary.
Also, I don't really buy the central conceit, since there's no way this Hallie person would have set foot in the office since her orientation. She would never have talked to her boss off zoom and would never have done so for two hours. The outdated stereotype and all the in-office amenities made it seem like you're pitching jokes to Vince Vaughn for a timely sequel to The Internship. A 2024 white collar hypocrite would be day-drinking at an eclipse festival while complaining that they can't social distance at the office.
(Sorry for being negative, but it seems like you're soliciting criticism now? I find the "Guest Columns" a little too ham-fisted, even though they seem popular. Otherwise, I enjoy your writing and often recommend it to friends. Thank you for putting those thoughtful articles out there.)
***That text*** at the start of the column is usually some meta comment by Jeff Maurer as the author of this blog, but the contact address is only slightly less suspicious than what Paula Fox put in her own editorials. I'm not sure what to make of it.
I know this is satire, but the things that are seen as egregious violations by the generation entering the workforce are a great sign for progress - as a society we've slayed all the real dragons, so now we're just stomping the hell out of every salamander in sight. I feel like you can measure the increase in quality of life by the increasingly nonsensical things that are labeled as horrific injustices.
"All right! But apart from above-average pay, health, dental, and vision benefits, three weeks of paid vacation a year, eight months of paid maternity leave, holiday bonuses, flex-work, a five-star on-site cafeteria, gym, climbing wall, daycare center, dog run, walkable campus with ample greenspace, free drinks, free snacks, Friday waffle bar, and in-office juice concierge, what has MMP EVER done for us?!?"
This definitely calls for at least an additional week to process the trauma.
I'm probably the target demographic for this. I work in a warehouse but we're on the same messaging system as corporate. Sometimes I hate-read the rooms devoted to complaining about having to work in the office three times a week or that each employee gets only one latte per day from the in-house barista. Their entitlement can be infuriating. There were a few weeks where I worked six night shifts in a row and I'd spend my lunch period drinking a Monster and reading some program manager complain that he had to either bring a sandwich from home or get ripped off at a fast food place.
But at the end of the day, they are actually entitled to luxurious treatment. If you have the soft skills to be a "junior customer liaison" at a medical consulting firm, you're able to sell them for $75k a year and all the office juice you can drink. Sure, I get annoyed when the "PMC" complain about losing catering, but those perks are ultimately part of the pay they agreed to exchange their valuable labor for. Taking those perks away is an unnegotiated pay cut and should be met with hostility.
My only valid complaint about these people is that defending against their various psuedomedical rationales requires companies to replace HR with some sort of byzantine labyrinth navigable only by them. I had to deal with the medical accommodation process after breaking my foot and it's a series of hoops that people jump through when they self-diagnose anxiety to work from home. Ironically these hoops are more jumpable for the "anxious" that are salary.
Also, I don't really buy the central conceit, since there's no way this Hallie person would have set foot in the office since her orientation. She would never have talked to her boss off zoom and would never have done so for two hours. The outdated stereotype and all the in-office amenities made it seem like you're pitching jokes to Vince Vaughn for a timely sequel to The Internship. A 2024 white collar hypocrite would be day-drinking at an eclipse festival while complaining that they can't social distance at the office.
(Sorry for being negative, but it seems like you're soliciting criticism now? I find the "Guest Columns" a little too ham-fisted, even though they seem popular. Otherwise, I enjoy your writing and often recommend it to friends. Thank you for putting those thoughtful articles out there.)
***That text*** at the start of the column is usually some meta comment by Jeff Maurer as the author of this blog, but the contact address is only slightly less suspicious than what Paula Fox put in her own editorials. I'm not sure what to make of it.
Good column, gave me a laugh.
I almost thought I was reading a Matt Stoller piece!