11 Comments
May 20, 2022·edited May 20, 2022Liked by Jeff Maurer

Free advice. You know that lake that dominates Limgrave? There's these burned-out ruins in the south-west side of the lake. Clear them out and you'll find some stairs leading underground to a treasure chest. Open it up, and you'll find something inside that'll make the starting area much less scary.

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I'm fucking laughing my ass off the entire time I was reading this. The article is probably better than the game itself.

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Oh man, I'd love to see more game reviews on this site.

Elden Ring got much easier after I found a friend who take the controller and do the hard parts as necessary.

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May 20, 2022·edited May 20, 2022

My boyfriend was playing this. Notice lately he is playing Horizon Forbidden West more and more. This is probably why!

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Jeff is having a bit of a Gila monster obsession. In real life they aren’t that big, so no worries…

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> they’re the only thing in the game that won’t reduce me to maggot food save for the flowers (actually: some flowers)

Remember these words when you meet Malenia, Blade of Miquella.

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Is that the nom-de-game of the former First Lady?

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"... more of a Human Chum Bucket being tossed to a pack of ravenous beasts" sounds like life in the 2020s so far.

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I misread that as Hunan Chum Bucket which sounds like an Asian version of chowder.

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oh sweetie

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Giving you a like but didn’t read too much because I don’t want to be spoiled. I bought the game on day 1. I’ll come back and finish your article once I complete the game in 950 years, given my progress to date.

Best to worst:

Bloodborne

Dark Souls

Demon’s Souls

Dark Souls 2

Dark Souls 3

Sekiro

Elden Ring and King’s Field TBD

Come at me, bro

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