Video games let us explore our fantasies. Without leaving your couch, you can be a bandit in the Old West or an astronaut traversing the galaxy. Games are adventure by proxy; they allow us to imagine ourselves in a world without limits. Elden Ring — the new epic by FromSoftware games — lets players explore the question: What if you were a helpless slab of meat being torn to ribbons by everything you encounter?
May 20, 2022·edited May 20, 2022Liked by Jeff Maurer
Free advice. You know that lake that dominates Limgrave? There's these burned-out ruins in the south-west side of the lake. Clear them out and you'll find some stairs leading underground to a treasure chest. Open it up, and you'll find something inside that'll make the starting area much less scary.
Giving you a like but didn’t read too much because I don’t want to be spoiled. I bought the game on day 1. I’ll come back and finish your article once I complete the game in 950 years, given my progress to date.
Free advice. You know that lake that dominates Limgrave? There's these burned-out ruins in the south-west side of the lake. Clear them out and you'll find some stairs leading underground to a treasure chest. Open it up, and you'll find something inside that'll make the starting area much less scary.
I'm fucking laughing my ass off the entire time I was reading this. The article is probably better than the game itself.
Oh man, I'd love to see more game reviews on this site.
Elden Ring got much easier after I found a friend who take the controller and do the hard parts as necessary.
My boyfriend was playing this. Notice lately he is playing Horizon Forbidden West more and more. This is probably why!
Jeff is having a bit of a Gila monster obsession. In real life they aren’t that big, so no worries…
> they’re the only thing in the game that won’t reduce me to maggot food save for the flowers (actually: some flowers)
Remember these words when you meet Malenia, Blade of Miquella.
"... more of a Human Chum Bucket being tossed to a pack of ravenous beasts" sounds like life in the 2020s so far.
oh sweetie
Giving you a like but didn’t read too much because I don’t want to be spoiled. I bought the game on day 1. I’ll come back and finish your article once I complete the game in 950 years, given my progress to date.
Best to worst:
Bloodborne
Dark Souls
Demon’s Souls
Dark Souls 2
Dark Souls 3
Sekiro
Elden Ring and King’s Field TBD
Come at me, bro