What's the Deal With Ukraine?
Have you heard about this, folks?
What does Vladimir Putin want? In the broadest sense, we know: He wants to reclaim the glory of the old Soviet Union. It truly does suck that a major crisis can be sparked by some cranky, old guy who can’t get over some shit that happened 30 years ago. It’s like if Narendra Modi was still pissed that grunge replaced hair metal and was threatening to invade Bangladesh unless Dokken gets back together.
Unfortunately, what Putin hopes to get out of the Russian military buildup on Ukraine’s border is a mystery. At least, that’s what just about everything I’ve read on the topic says. Which brings me to an important note about my method: When I do one of these “explainer” columns, I just read a bunch of stuff and then synthesize what I’ve read. This is a summary, not my own thoughts. I’m not here to claim expertise; I’m here to condense what I’ve read and to photoshop funny hair onto the Prime Minister of India. And the bottom line is: 1) The standoff with Russia is a highly delicate situation with many unknown variables, and 2) There are a lot of haircuts that look funny on Narendra Modi. Behold:
