USA vs. Qatar Match Diary and Player Ratings

The latest chapter in the rivalry against our neighbor to the...South? East, maybe?

Let’s start with the elephant in the room: What is Qatar doing in the CONCACAF Gold Cup? Even Americans, who aren’t famous for our knowledge of world geography, know that Qatar is probably in Asia, or possibly Africa, and there’s a small chance it’s one of those islands near Australia. But it’s definitely not in North America. So, what are they doing here?

The answer, of course, is money. Qatar needs to warm up for the World Cup, and CONCACAF needs guests to have 16 teams, and Qatar is known to throw money around, and CONCACAF likes money, so…not much math required there. In terms of quality, they’re a pretty typical Gold Cup quarterfinal opponent: If you’re going by the FIFA World Rankings (which you shouldn’t, but what the hell), they’re 58th, similar to Jamaica (45), Costa Rica (50), and Honduras (67).

Here’s a surprise: The lineup is the same as the Jamaica match. I thought we’d probably see Cannon and Zardes, and maybe Christian Roldan. But Berhalter likes this eleven, and I kind of agree. I’ll still give him a “2” if we lose, but I agree.

Hoppe | Dike | Arriola

Lletget | Busio | Acosta

Vines | Robinson | Sands | Moore

Turner

Here’s kickoff from what John Strong described as “A warm and muggy but not insufferable evening in Austin, Texas.” If we’re talking Texas in July, “not insufferable” is the best you can hope for!

6’ - Bad giveaway from Sands leads to a chance for Qatar! Sands has been good, but that was rec league -- we’re lucky it’s 0-0.

16’ - We’ve just learned: There will be no hydration break in the first half. That’s real bad news for Kellyn Acosta’s mom, who is now stuck with a cooler full of Capri Suns and no-one to drink them.

18’ - Save from Turner! That was almost an own-goal from Sands off a very, very long shot from Qatar. I’m not sure how Sands ended up half-deflecting that one, seeing as it was shot from next to the hot dog cart in the concourse.

20’ - Turner with another save! That was outstanding -- everyone looks rattled except for Turner. We basically have ten panicking players right now -- maybe they’re mad about not getting those Capri Suns.

27’ - We’ve settled a bit. We’re mostly just kicking it around, and I’m fine with that; sometimes you just need to establish possession and lower the temperature.

30’ - I’ve just learned that the linesmen tonight are from Africa as part of a referee exchange program. That’s outstanding: Offload those CONCACAF referees on anyone who will take them. And they’ve been pretty good so far!

33’ - Dike looks about as sharp as those scissors they give to kindergartners.

34’ - Welp: A ridiculously-bad call from the linesman gifts Qatar a corner. He’s learning the CONCACAF style!

43’ - We’ve upped our game a bit and are now…I’d say “minimally dangerous”. Like a sorta-ornery dachshund. There’s a bit of danger. Not much, though.

Us.

HALF TIME: 0-0. At the end of the half, Stu Holden and John Strong were discussing the sub that I was thinking about (and probably most people were thinking about): Zardes for Dike. And…yeah. I like Dike, but he looks off -- gotta bring on Zardes.

50’ - Dike plays it straight out of bounds -- where’s Zardes? We all know this needs to happen.

52’ - Hoppe curves in a cross but Dike puts it straight at the ‘keeper! That was a great chance; sucks to see it wasted.

53’ - Sands stops a Qatari counterattack! And that…was a foul. I’m looking at the replay: That’s a foul. He got the slightest touch on the ball -- if the ball was an egg, he wouldn’t have broken it. Dr. Joe Machnik (is he a doctor? Doctor of what?) is weighing in; he says it’s no PK because of the teensy-weensy touch.

57’ - Here’s the call: Penalty. For what it’s worth: I think referees just like to walk away from the screen and go: “Guess what, folks? … … … PENALTY!”

60’ - Here’s (finally) the penalty…and…OVER THE BAR! Turner did well to not fall for this Jorginho/Paul Pogba/Josef Martinez pausing/stuttering/hopping bullshit. That doesn’t technically count as a save, but that’s a save.

62’ - Here we go: Zardes, Roldan, and Cannon for Dike, Busio, and Moore. We needed this line change.

66’ - Scramble in front of the Qatari goal! Qatar’s goalkeeper has looked shaky all match. This is where we say “we should put pressure on the goalkeeper.” But don’t you always want to put pressure on the goalkeeper? Is there ever a situation where letting the ‘keeper have a calm, relaxing night is the right play?

74’ - Arriola is getting some joy down the right. We’ve turned this match around, but the ball’s not bouncing our way in the penalty box.

81’ - Here come Gioacchini and Williamson for Arriola and Hoppe. Since none of these subs were absolutely necessary, I wish Berhalter would have kept one sub available for at least a few more minutes. He did this against Jamaica and we almost had two injuries.

85’ - Williamson goes down in the box! For the record: We are sort of owed a penalty. I know “balancing things out” penalties aren’t technically a thing, but they’re definitely a thing (see: the Nations League final against Mexico), and we’re holding the I.O.U. for one right now.

86’ - GOAL USA!!! THAT’S PROBABLY THE ONE!!! Roldan to Gioacchini to Williamson back to Gioacchini, who does well to find Zardes who slots it home! We were knocking on the door, we’ve finally kicked it in!

90’ - We have…NINE minutes of stoppage time? NINE? There was the video review, there was one injury, but that’s all I remember. I don’t remember the stretcher coming out. I don’t remember Morgana the Kissing Bandit running onto the field. I don’t remember interruptions from earthquake or a Bond villain or the Stanford Marching Band, so how the hell do we end up with NINE minutes?

90’ + infinity - We’ve played ten of the nine extra minutes. Only 17 left!

FULL TIME: 1-0 USA!!! We move on to the final against either Canada or Mexico, which are located…honestly, I don’t know where either of those countries are, either. Go USA!

Ratings:

Berhalter: 6.5. I thought he chose the right players at slightly the wrong times, but it all worked out in the end.

Turner: 9. This was the first game where he really had to come up big, and he came up BIG. He’s had a great tournament, which would be good news if I wasn’t a Bill Hamid fan. 

Vines: 5.5. Qatar clogged the middle and basically made the game go through Vines and Moore.

Robinson: 7. Was one of the only players who matched up well physically with the Qatari players. 

Sands: 4. I think the early giveaway rattled him a bit. He was slightly unlucky on the penalty, because he did…well not touch, but certainly tickle the ball. 

Moore: 6.5. I don’t think he needed to come off -- I thought he was good. I think Berhalter just wanted to get Cannon on.

Lletget: 6. Was the only one of our midfield three to offer something in the attacking end of the field.

Busio: 3.5. He was way too direct. We need him to be a metronome and control the match; instead, was too aggressive with his passing and kept giving the ball away.

Acosta: 5. Shouldn’t he maybe be taking the free kicks? He’s got a good right foot, and he takes them for the Rapids.

Kellyn Acosta’s mom: 9. She brought the cooler full of Capri Suns, that’s all you can ask; it’s not her fault nobody drank them.

Hoppe: 6. Probably our most dangerous player; he should have had an assist on that Dike chance.  

Arriola: 5.5. I thought he was really starting to play his way into the game just as he was taken off.

Dike: 2.5. Is his shoulder alright? His shoulder did not seem alright -- it looked like he was moving in a weird way.

Zardes: 6. He always brings energy and movement, and he did well to get himself in position for the goal.

Roldan: 6. Brought the ball control Busio didn’t provide. I think he starts against Mexi-Canada.

Cannon: 6. He played pretty well, but Moore played pretty well. Who starts the final? If there was any justice, it would probably be Moore, since he’s played most of the tournament and done well. But 1) There’s no justice, and 2) I think Cannon is a slightly better player. So I think Cannon starts.

Gioacchini: 6.5. Did very well to create the goal. He’s another candidate to start the final.

Williamson: 5.5. The 26 minutes of stoppage time weren’t actually all that stressful partly because Williamson did well to clog the midfield.