USA vs. Jamaica Match Diary and Player Ratings

Go ahead and start this era of US dominance whenever your ready!

The first round of qualifying games was dispiriting. It was supposed to be an exciting new era for US Soccer, but before long we were struggling to a tie against Canada. And if you’re looking for words that are the opposite of “exciting”, some of them are “struggle”, “tie”, and “Canada”.

We’re missing Pulisic, Reyna, Brooks tonight. And also Donovan, Dempsey, and McBride…I do miss those guys. Josh Sargent’s decision to follow the Bobby Wood “play for the most dire teams in Europe” career strategy sees him out of the side, and Dike and Pefok were left out, too. And, obviously, Jozy Altidore is not in the team, as he fell into a grain thresher a year ago and it went unreported.

Tonight’s lineup:

Aaronson | Pepi | Arriola

McKennie | Adams | Musah

A. Robinson | M. Robinson | Zimmerman | Dest

Turner

I’m good with that; I like that midfield a lot. I’m still slightly uncomfortable having the attack led by a player who’s a few years away from being able to buy beer, but after his game against Honduras, Pepi pretty much has to start.

Here’s kickoff from Austin, which has done the impossible and found American fans for an American soccer game!

1’ - THAT’S A RED CARD!!! WHAT THE FUCK??? That’s clear as fucking day, Arriola was clean through and dragged down! Oh CONCACAF…unbelievable. I know it’s weird to send a player off 20 seconds in, but what’s more weird is to play the entire game thinking “they should be down to ten.”

18’ - In the last round of games, Weston McKennie got sent home because he broke Covid protocols. And now he’s done this to his hair:

So…I guess we need to worry about Weston McKennie’s decision-making, huh?

23’ - We’re controlling the game but not creating any chances; Jamaica are really parking the Ski-Doo (because they’re Jamaican) in front of goal. I’m not sure what the solution is except for better patience and movement.

32’ - SHOULD BE ANOTHER RED CARD!!! This time it’s Aaronson who’s fouled! This is absolutely unreal. What could the argument possibly be there? Aaronson is 20 yards from the goal, right in the center of the field. The ref called the foul…that absolutely HAS to be a yellow card.

36’ - Antonee Robinson dispossess Bobby Decordova-Reid — he wins the all-Fulham battle. I’d say that he “won bragging rights”, except that no-one on a team that just lost 4-1 to Coventry should be bragging about anything.

37’ - Taylor Twellman can’t understand why CONCACAF can’t find the resources to fund VAR. I take his point, but obviously: Graft, Taylor, graft! There is no such thing extra money in CONCACAF! Those guys have pied de terres to buy for their mistresses!

40’ - You know what would really thin out that Jamaican defense? Taking two fucking guys off the field. Which should have happened.

Half time: 0-0. It’s hard to focus on anything besides the fact that we should be two men up. But I guess I should focus on the other bad news: We don’t seem particularly close to unlocking the Jamaican defense. We only look dangerous when we catch them out; when they’re in the low block, they look solid.

48’ - BREAKTHROUGH!!! 1-0 USA! It’s that boy — Ricardo Pepi!!! Nice work from Musah and Dest, and an excellent finish from a very tall, beardy child! Pepi’s had one look and now he has one goal — real good stuff.

51’ - Surging run from Yunus Musah leads to a corner! Musah is also 18 — we’ve got a team full of players on the cusp of being too old to date Leonardo DiCaprio.

61’ - GOAL USA!!! 2-0 and that will probably do it! It’s Brenden “The Geezer” Aaronson (he’s 20) finding Pepi for the second! Fantastic, you want to take advantage of the game opening up and give yourselves a cushion. Great stuff.

67’ - Zardes and Weah for Pepi and Aaronson. It’s great to be able to rotate players a bit, since we’re playing three games in 18 hours or something like that.

77’ - Well…if you thought that second finish from Pepi was automatic, Zardes just got basically the same chance and couldn’t get a foot on it.

82’ - 82nd minute, up 2-0…now’s the time in the game when I start to worry about my club teams. Get Antonee Robinson and Arriola out of there! Robinson’s coming off a minor injury, and Arriola is about as fragile as one of those blown sugar figures they put on top of cakes.

FULL TIME: 2-0 USA! Alright: The wheels are back on this vehicle. Eight points after four games is okay. Jamaica obviously watched the Canada match and defended tough, and they got lucky TWICE, but we did enough.

Ratings:

Berhalter: 6. I honestly don’t feel like there were too many big decisions to make, but the performance was good and they got the result.

Turner: 6. He did actually have to make one good save! And he made it, so half a point for fending off sleep, half a point for getting his hand on the ball.

A. Robinson: 6.5. This was his type of game: Lots of getting up the line, not much defending.

M. Robinson: 6.5. A lot of times in a game like this, you think “the center backs didn’t have much to do.” But there were a few counterattacks to stop, and he and Zimmerman did well.

Walker “Robinson” Zimmerman: 6.5. He’s kind of a Tim Ream type in that his passing is part of what he offers. He’s also a Tim Ream type in that he’s sporting a weird, blonde man-bun these days.

Dest: 7. Like Robinson, he’s an attack-first fullback who spent all night attacking.

McKennie: 5.5. Not the cleanest of games, but he helped control the midfield.

Adams: 6.5. Such a prototypical two-way midfielder; he’s just ball control in a can.

Musah: 7. Did everything McKennie and Adams did and also got into the attack.

Aaronson: 7. Did well to get behind the defense whenever the back line stepped up. Service on set pieces could have been better.

Arriola: 6.5. Worked hard (he always does) and didn’t get injured (he does not always do that).

Pepi: 7.5. He should celebrate tonight with a chocolate milk and some Starburst — he earned it!

Zardes: 5.5. Almost scored twice, but even if he had, Pepi is your clear starter for the time being.

Weah: 6.5. Hey now — he looked dangerous! Given the need to rotate players, I’m guessing he’ll start against Panama in (looks at watch)…two hours.

Acosta: NR.