USA vs. Honduras Match Diary & Player Ratings

We need a crisis in order to get a win

Here’s a problem: Despite a very bad start to qualifying (two points from two winnable games), I still think we’ll probably qualify. The CONCACAF format is forgiving, there are 14 games, and it feels like we have a strong team. But complacency was a big part of the problem last time around; only with about ten minutes left in the Trinidad & Tobago match did people start to think: “Holy shit…could we not qualify?”

Procrastination is part of human nature. Speaking for myself: I have never done anything, ever, without a deadline. The iron law of my decision-making process is that if I can sit on my ass, I will sit on my ass. I suspect that one thing keeping this team from kicking into gear is a sense that it will all work out somehow. So, there’s a paradox: We’re most likely to qualify when it starts to look like we might not.

Here’s tonight’s lineup, and wow: Berhalter is really trying something here:

Pulisic | Pepi | Sargent

Bello | Sands | Acosta | Adams

McKenzie | Brooks | Miles Robinson

Turner

Okay then! I don’t like this -- too defensive for my taste, and I’d say that three out of four midfield players are out of position. I wanted to see Roldan because we’ve been bad at sustaining possession, and that’s his game. Also, our striker is an 18 year-old earning his first cap. This is a “nothing’s worked, so let me change everything” lineup.

Here’s kickoff from one of those Central American stadiums always described as a “cauldron”…

1’ - It took literally two seconds for me to roll my eyes and mutter “Oh, God.” Because the back-pass from the kickoff bounced all over the place. A bad sign.

10’ - Brutal collision between the Honduran ‘keeper and a defender -- they’re sitting up now and it looks like they’ll be okay. Do concussion protocols in Honduras include asking “who’s the president?” What if it’s changed since kickoff?

26’ - GOAL HONDURAS! 1-0. Disaster, absolute disaster. Brooks got turned badly, both Adams and Robinson were out of position, and McKenzie was observing Covid distancing protocols with the guy he was supposed to be marking. Completely terrible all the way around. That’s the odd defensive play where nobody can scowl at anybody else because everyone was terrible.

38’ - A Honduran player is down — we can expect to see a whole lot more of this before the night is through. Honestly, a player down in the 38th minutes feels like snow on Thanksgiving: It seems a tad early for this.

42’ - Have we won a 50/50 ball even once in any of these three games?

44’ - Pulisic is now dropping deep enough that he’s basically a defensive midfielder. Meanwhile, Sargent and Pepi might as well have stayed at the hotel — they’re not remotely involved in this game.

45’ - There have been at least eight minutes of stoppages, but we have three minutes of stoppage time. One of the biggest changes FIFA could make to crack down on time-wasting is to tell referees: “You actually have to keep track of stoppage time. You can’t just pull a number out of your ass.”

46’ - Bello goes down in the box trying to buy a penalty. Oh the naivete of youth; he has as much chance of winning that penalty as I do of sweeping the Latin Grammys.

HALF TIME: 1-0 Honduras. I’m going to be pissed if I don’t see some “whoops, I was wrong” subs from Berhalter after half time. First thing: Get Tyler Adams in the middle of the field. He’s not a wing-back, and he didn’t look like one at any point that half. Second thing: Ricardo Pepi, nice kid, bright future — get him the fuck out of there. Third thing: We need possession, James Sands is out of position, so cut bait on that experiment. I think you can do Yedlin for McKenzie, Aaronson for Pepi, and Roldan for Sands, giving you this:

Pulisic | Sargent | Aaronson

Acosta | Adams | Roldan

Bello | Brooks | Miles Robinson | Yedlin

Turner

46’ - Berhalter has made some changes, and they’re close to the ones I was hoping for. Antonee Robinson is on for Bello, Aaronson comes in for Sargent, and Lletget is on for Brooks. This will be a 4-3-3; unfortunately, Adams remains at right back. This is slightly better, but Berhalter made so many bad choices that he can’t fix them all at once.

47’ - GOAL USA!!! IT’S A MIRACLE!!! We finally got Pulisic facing forward with some grass in front of him, and we’re on the board. Also, if you got on SkyBets and put money on “Antonee Robinson scores with his right foot,” then congratulations on being a billionaire.

50’ - Here’s something I noticed at half time that’s unrelated to anything: I think Ellie Kemper may have starred in a Spanish-language Downy ad. I mean…this has to be her, right?

Get me Ellie Kemper’s non-union Mexican counterpart!

54’ - Chance for Pulisic saved well by the ‘keeper! We’re finally looking…well not good, but we’re looking like less shit. This is supporting my “we won’t start playing until we absolutely have to” theory.

56’ - Worth calling out: Pulisic is really stepping up. Basically all of our offense is coming from him.

60’ - Oh no: Pulisic is down. He’s coming off…Roldan is on. Well: I got my cursed-monkey’s-paw wish for Christian Roldan.

63’ - TURNER WITH A BIG SAVE! Honduras almost converted a cross from DC United’s Andy Najar, who — I can tell you as a DC United fan — is in good form right now. You might think he’s pushing 40 because he’s been around for so long, but he’s only 28; he was in MLS before he could shave.

70’ - Adams forces a good save from the Honduran ‘keeper! Guess where he shot that one from? THE CENTER OF THE FIELD. Where he belongs.

72’ - Yedlin on for Sands — another development in the Greg Berhalter “okay, I was wrong” project. I’d like this change if it wasn’t our last sub; we now have to play 20 minutes in a physical game in stifling heat and hope for no injuries.

74’ - GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!! It’s…Pepi!!!

Okay, mea culpa: It’s good that Pepi stayed on. Outstanding goal. Great header, and at a huge moment. If nothing else, this proves that I don’t go back and edit these things to make myself look less stupid.

80’ - Miles Robinson is down. I’d like to see a 538 article comparing injury stoppages caused by teams that are winning to injury stoppages caused by teams that are losing. There are probably, what…five, six times more of the former than the latter?

82’ - Robinson’s okay. It’s a miracle.

86’ - GOAL USA!!! Are we not calling that a hand ball? We’re not? Are you sure? Want to check…oh, there’s no VAR? Well then fantastic: GOAL USA!!! I think it was Lletget who won the ball, and Pepi found Aaronson, who made a nice finish on a ball that was bouncing all over the place. I will absolutely take it: 3-1!

90’ + 2’ - GOAL USA! 4-1; it’s Lletget from Pepi and Adams, and that’ll do it! The only down side: Now it looks like we cruised to victory. People who missed the match won’t know that we not only stared into the abyss — we hopped into the abyss, spent a day there, and even listened to a sales pitch for a time-share in the abyss.

Full time: 4-1 USA. Once things got really bad, we got the job done. We procrastinated and procrastinated, then the night before the test, we took a bunch of NoDoze and crammed and got a C+. Put these three games on a DVD called “Great Moments in Doing Just Barely Enough”.

Ratings:

Berhalter: 3. Sort of an “arsonist who puts out his own fire” situation tonight. At least he made the changes he needed to make and didn’t make one of the changes I was calling for (Pepi).

Turner: 7. Maybe the only player whose stock rose during these three games.

McKenzie: 5. Solid except for the goal, which is a bit like saying “law-abiding except for that murder.”

Brooks: 4. It’s going to take a lot more than two games to change my opinion of Brooks, but he did not have a good two games.

Miles: 6. Wait a minute: He might be good at soccer. I rarely hear transfer rumors about him, but I think that might change.

Bello: 4. One thing I don’t love about a 3-4-3 is that the wing-backs are basically responsible for the entire wide area. Berhalter gave Bello a big task, and he struggled.

Sands: 4. The demands of that position on a bumpy field against an aggressive team require top-level touch and passing skills. Sands has good touch and passing skills for a defender, but I thought he was the wrong man for the job tonight.

Acosta: 4.5. His instincts are defensive; I feel like you need to pair him with someone who’s more possession-oriented to get the most out of him.

Adams: 7. About six of his seven points were earned in the last 30 minutes. I’m generally a believer in the central midfield/right back conversion, but Adams is quality and you need him in the middle.

Pulisic: 7. Was dangerous all night until the injury. I really hope the injury isn’t a bad one; Chelsea already have 14 wingers, not counting the seven guys they’ll sign on Pulisic’s flight back to England.

Sargent: 4. Classic “didn’t get into the game” game.

Pepi: 6. Well, I was all set to give him a three — which I wasn’t eager to do because it would have felt a bit like badmouthing a child — but then he grabbed a goal and an assist at a huge moment. And now comes the traditional extreme over-reaction to a young player from USMNT fans!

Antonee: 7. He brought the energy he always provides, and even brought a goal, which he provides about once every presidential administration.

Lletget: 6.5. It was nice to see a midfielder actually fight for and win some 50/50 balls.

Aaronson: 7. If you give him space, he’s class. We shouldn’t underrate that strike; the ball was bouncing all over the place, and he hit it well.

Roldan: 6. As wrong as I was about Pepi, I feel like I was right about Roldan.

Yedlin: 6.5. After the Canada match, Yedlin was about as popular on the internet as Mike Richards. Glad he redeemed himself tonight.