USA vs. Canada Match Diary and Player Ratings

The most important meaningless match in a long time

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The silver lining of our poor performance against Haiti is that this game means something. If we tie or lose, then Canada win the group, and there’s a good chance that we’ll have to play Mexico in the semi-final. And for Americans, the Gold Cup is like good gastrointestinal health: It’s all about avoiding Mexico.

It’s a 3-5-2 today, which works for me, but let’s acknowledge something: When Berhalter took the job, there was a lot of talk about his “system”, and all that talk was all a bunch of nothing. He’s used all sorts of different formations. And that’s fine; I generally think that the best system is the one that gets your best 11 players on the field in roles they feel comfortable playing.

Tonight’s system-flouting formation:

Dike | Zardes

Vines | Lletget | Busio | Acosta | Moore

Robinson | Sands | Zimmerman

Turner

This is a “we need to win” lineup, not a “let’s prepare for the next round” lineup. Glad to see Zardes and Dike up top. Two-striker formations are like Quizno’s: They disappeared all of a sudden and I’m not totally sure why.

And here’s ki-

GOAL!!! Holy shit, I hadn’t even made fun of Walker Zimmerman’s hair yet! Straight from the kickoff, Acosta and Lletget set up Shaq Moore! 1-0 USA! Well, that’s the goal we needed -- now Canada have to chase the game.

8’ - There’s a collision in the box! No call yet. Both players are down, it’s possible that each is trying to seem more hurt than the other in order to buy the call. 

12’ - Zimmerman is hurt for real -- he’ll have to come out. That’s bad, partly because he’s a good player and partly because if this game gets boring, I’ll have to make fun of someone else’s haircut. Silver lining: PINES!

24’ - Stu Holden: “If you’re the Canadian center backs, you don’t want to mix it up physically with a guy like Dike in and around the box.” Stu: If you’re anybody, you don’t want to mix it up physically with Dike anywhere. He is way more human being than average.

29’ - Hard tackle by Kamal Miller on Dike sends Dike into a double somersault. No foul because Miller got the ball and because Dike came out of the pike position.

34’ - If this was boxing, I’d say we’re ahead on points right now. And also if this was soccer (it is), we’d be ahead on points, because we have one point and they have zero. We’re the better team but not by a ton. We’re awfully direct; I’d like to see someone like Busio put their foot on the ball and establish a rhythm. 

36’ - I kind of wish we were in a four-back right now. We’re basically in a five -- Vines and Moore are dropping deep -- and we’re not controlling the midfield.

40’ - 1) This is a 5-3-2, no doubt about it; 2) Canada are dominating now and we need to change things up.

43’ - Just learned that Zardes started wearing his trademark blonde mohawk so that his grandparents could spot him while he was playing in college. And bless him for that: He is easy to spot. It was tough watching Chelsea this year, because Pulisic, Chillwell, Mount, and Jorginho are all medium-sized white guys with dark hair and they’re hard to tell apart. There should be rules against that sort of thing. 

45’ - Canada’s knocking on the door so much that it’s just about off the hinges. 

HALF TIME: 1-0 USA. First halftime thought: I don’t like the trendline in this match -- we need more bodies in midfield. 

Second halftime thought: The proportions of the Carfax Car Fox are all wrong. Seems like they didn’t learn from the mistakes of the first Sonic the Hedgehog design.

45’ - Save Turner! Off of a terrible giveaway by Pines! Uh, okay, full disclosure now, speaking as a DC United fan: Pines will do that type of stuff sometimes. He’s not exactly Lionel Messi with the ball at his feet.

47’ - Another save by Turner! Sands came for it, didn’t get it, and Turner did well to close down the angle. So...are we going to change things up, or are we just going to keep doing this for another 43 minutes?

49’ - A two-on-two leads to a “good” tackle from Pines! Good in that he won the ball, “good” in that on a different day, that might have been called a penalty.

51’ - Stu Holden is seeing the same thing I’m seeing, and how could he not? The lack of balance in our formation is as obvious as the lack of balance in the Carfax Car Fox.

57’ - Cannon on for Moore. Like for like...this is not what we need. Also: Cannon’s been alive this whole time? I thought he was sort of a guy the team liked having around, like Cuba Gooding, Jr. in the classic film, Radio. 

57’ - Also, sure:

58’ - Another bad touch by Pines! Fortunately, he recovers and wins the ball back. I was wondering if I was being too harsh calling out Pines’ iffy ball skills, but...now I do not feel I was being too harsh.

65’ - Another reason this match matters: If we don’t win, our most likely first round opponent is Costa Rica. The next 25 minutes are important.

68’ - I can’t believe Berhalter hasn’t changed things up yet. For starters: We have five subs, and there’s no extra time. Also, I acknowledge the “politeness factor” -- if you substitute a player before the 60th minute, you might hurt your relationship with him, so only do it if you really have to. But we have no midfield, and our strikers are isolated. 

73’ - And now Berhalter’s going too far in the other direction: Roldan, Yueill, and Hoppe on for Acosta, Busio, and Zardes. So: We’re out of subs. One injury (on a hot day) means that we finish with ten. And if Canada scores and we need to chase a goal, we can’t make a sub. I hate this. I’m skipping forward to the player ratings:

Berhalter: 2. Terrible. 

78’ - There hasn’t been a formation change: It’s still a 5-3-2. Buchanan sends one just past the post -- this is nervy.

80’ - Now Dike’s down holding his shoulder. Well, obviously I’m going to post this:

87’ - Dike is on the field barely moving, and now Sands is down. Chaos. I said we shouldn’t have used our subs so early, and now it’s like the universe is trying to prove me right. Which usually isn’t easy to do. 

93’ - Another save for Turner! Canada have done everything but score. I remember a Gold Cup game in which Canada should have taken us to extra time, but they were denied by a terrible offside call. I hope karma doesn’t balance out here.

FULL TIME: 1-0 USA. Canada were the better team, but we won! There’s no justice in the universe, hooray!

Player ratings:

Turner: 8. We really needed him, and he didn’t put a foot (or hand) wrong.

Robinson: 7. Came up big when he needed to. Good thing he’s young, because if Zimmerman’s hurt, he’ll probably play every minute in this tournament. 

Sands: 7.5. Another solid performance. Not too many American players have impressed me, but he has.

Zimmerman: NR. If he’s hurt, then we’ve lost a veteran premise and we’re suddenly thin at center back.

Vines: 5. Good defensively and provided some decent service, but dropped way too deep way too early.

Lletget: 5. Had a great first 20 seconds and then basically disappeared.

Busio: 3. Did he play today? I mean in this game. The scorecard says he did but I didn’t see him.

Acosta: 5. Pretty much the same as Lletget.

Moore: 5. It’s like our entire midfield clocked out after the first minute.

Zardes: 3.5. Managed to be invisible in spite of being easy to spot.

Dike: 3.5. A few more games like this and he’ll dip into Fulham’s price range.

Pines: 2.5. Let’s just move on.

Cannon: 4.5. Moore has had a decent tournament. If Cannon’s match fit, does he step into the lineup? My guess: He won’t start next round, but he’ll start after that.

Hoppe, Yueill, Roldan: No rating.