The Worst Takes on the LA Fire, Distilled
Rubbing stupid into the wound
People in LA have it bad enough right now: I hope they’re not also seeing our dumbass takes on this fire. It’s one thing to watch your house burn down; it’s another to do that and also watch Narcissism and Ignorance 69 each other in the Orgy Of Opportunism that’s currently happening on social media. If I think of the worst moment in my life — which I can easily recall but won’t share — I can only imagine how I would have felt if someone had walked up to me in that moment and said: “Hey…this tweet from ‘Rectal Napalm 420’ says that what happened to you is payback for Gaza.”
I spent yesterday scrolling through Twitter, which is like climbing a mountain to study at the foot of the Shaolin Bad Take Guru. And though I’m something of a bad take connoisseur, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. Most of the awful takes that I predicted after the Baltimore bridge collapse were resurrected, and a few new ones joined the party. Below are fake tweets from people that I made up that are, nonetheless, representative of takes that I saw. And links to real tweets that inspired my inventions included. Here’s hoping for the best for everyone in LA, and here’s also hoping that they never see what the rest of us got up to while their city was burning down.
The Democratic take that snottily pins 100% of responsibility for the fires on climate change and blithely precludes the possibility of any other contributing factors. (real version of this take)
The Republican take that takes six random issues, misrepresents all of them, and relies on the ignorance of their audience to not figure out that they’ve been struck by a bullshit tornado. (real version of this take)
