Holy Moly Do We Ever Over-Value College

College can be good, but...come on

An ad for Grand Canyon University made me decide to write about how we, as a society, over-value college. Here’s the ad. Though, better yet: Here’s a slightly-altered transcript that brings the subtext to the fore:

TELEGENIC HISPANIC TEEN: I’m going to get my master’s degree from Grand Canyon University’s online program!

STRAIGHT-FROM-CENTRAL-CASTING HISPANIC GRANDMOTHER: (in Spanish) I am speaking Spanish to remind you that I emigrated here. And I am so proud of you…because of the Master’s degree thing. I was not proud of you before now.

TELEGENIC HISPANIC TEEN: My Abuelita’s dream was to come to this country so her family could get an education and have a better life.

(Shot of Abuelita being kind and grandmotherly, which drives home the point that if this kid doesn’t go to Grand Canyon University and become a Professional Business Guy or something, then he’s basically pissing on his Abuelita’s dreams)

(Shot of family at dinner, but it’s obviously staged because nobody is looking at their phone)

TELEGENIC HISPANIC TEEN: I’m going to get my master’s degree online at Grand Canyon University!

FAMILY: Yeah, we figured, because we all signed releases to be in an ad for Grand Canyon University. But also we are so proud of you!

College is good for many things. It can help you avoid service in Vietnam, broaden your mind about what counts as a “mixed drink”, and provide valuable life experience in case you’re tapped to write the next Van Wilder movie. Unfortunately, Grand Canyon University is selling college as a way to make your family proud. Which is kind of fucked up, but probably very effective! And that has inspired me to express some opinions about what college is, and what it emphatically is not.