GUEST COLUMN: Biden and Trump Will Rue the Day They Crossed the Presidential Commission on Debates
They chose the wrong bipartisan commission to fuck with
On Wednesday, the Trump and Biden campaigns agreed to two debates: One in June and one in September. This was an end-run the Presidential Commission on Debates, which I chair, and which had organized debates since the ‘80s. Some people opined that this was effectively a death knell for the institution.
Well, opine on this, motherfuckers: The Presidential Commission on Debates is not going anywhere. The Presidential Commission on Debates will be around to dance a merry fucking jig on your grave. Those who naysay the commission are putting their names on a list to get beaten bloody with a sock full of lugnuts. And the Biden and Trump campaigns will regret having ever imagined for a fraction of a second that they could fuck with the Presidential Commission on Debates and get away with it.
The PCD was created by the Republican and Democratic parties in 1987 to be a neutral arbiter of debates. Or so goes the cover story. The real story begins in 15th century Prague, where a group of cobblers strained under the yoke of Hungarian rule. Originally formed as a guild, the PCD (“Prezidentská Komise pro Debaty” in the original Czech) soon became a political body, and were the hidden hand behind many infamous historical acts. “Wait,” you’re thinking, “are you telling me that the Presidential Commission on Debates were the puppet masters behind the Guy Fawkes Plot, the Taiping Rebellion of 1850, and the assassination of Alexander II of Russia?” No, I am not telling you that. Because I would risk being tied to a chair and having my eyes burned out with cigarettes if I did.
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